7 Things to Let Go of For a More Meaningful Life

As they say, simplicity begins in mind, and decluttering our thoughts can create a wonderful and freeing feeling. Here is a list of seven things that might be holding you back from living a more meaningful and wholehearted life.

1- NEGATIVE SELF-TALK:

Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love. -Brene Brown

How often do you say hurtful things to yourself or discourage yourself without even realizing it? 

It’s easy to fall into this habit without noticing, but becoming aware of it is the first step toward change. Remember not to rush things – it’s okay if you can’t let go of negative self-talk in a day. You didn’t create this habit overnight, and changing it takes time. Instead, focus on bringing your conscious attention to the way you talk to yourself today, and be mindful of the words you choose. You’ll be on your way toward a more positive and empowering mindset by taking small steps daily.

2- EXPECTATIONS:

When you focus too much on expectations, you’re most likely missing out on simple joys in the present moment. As Jon Kabat-Zinn says:

In letting go of wanting something special to occur, maybe we can realize that something special is already occurring.

3- THE NEED FOR CONTROL:

Letting go of the need for control is the most challenging one for me, personally. But I am slowly starting to distinguish the things I can control and things that are out of my control as a first step. 

Practicing mindfulness has been a huge help in my journey of letting go of the need for control, as this desire is often based on future scenarios rather than being grounded in the present moment. 

Whenever I find myself in a present-focused mindset and accept life as it is, in a non-judgemental way and without trying to change it, I release my need for control (without even noticing) and oh- it makes me feel so light & free!

Here is a quote to inspire your journey into letting go of the need for control:

When a life is too controlled, there becomes less and less life to control. - Clarissa Pinkola Estés

And here is a great article by Dr. Amy Johnson to help get started on the Art of Surrender. 

4- TOXIC POSITIVITY

Toxic positivity (i.e., “Good vibes only”) can be problematic and even toxic while promoting always staying positive, regardless of our experiences. It feels inhuman and unrealistic to expect a person to experience pleasant emotions only as if sadness, anger, and disappointment are not a part of life. It is possible to maintain a positive mindset while still allowing ourselves to feel all emotions and go through them, acknowledge, accept and experience them. 

Cory Muscara (Former Monk & The Author of Stop Missing Your Life) says: 

Negative thoughts will not manifest a negative life. But unconscious negative thoughts will.

And I think it is important to underline “unconscious” here.

Let go of toxic positivity and the pressure to always feel happy/content, think happy thoughts, and permit yourself to feel all feelings consciously.

5- COMPARISON

There is an undeniable link between self-acceptance and comparison. The moment we start comparing ourselves with others, the more we invite guilt and destructive self-criticism. 

As Dr. Susan David says perfectly in “Emotional Agility” (A book that has helped me tremendously in practicing growth mindset): 

Self-acceptance usually takes a big hit any time we start making comparisons. In one study, the young men and women who spent the least amount of time comparing themselves with others in terms of looks or intelligence or money also reported the least amount of self-blaming, guilt and regret.

Comparison is not only a thief of joy when it comes to self-acceptance. It takes away the beauty & joy from anything in life as soon as it enters our minds. So, let go of comparison, and you will start to see and appreciate the beauty of your uniqueness. 

6- FEAR OF UNCERTAINTY

The root of suffering is resisting the certainty that no matter what the circumstances, uncertainty is all we truly have. -Pema Chödrön

It is not an easy task, but there is only one way of letting go of the fear of uncertainty, and it is as simple as accepting that we can not control or see the future but can always choose to live in the present moment. 

7- WHO YOU THINK YOU SHOULD BE

Let go of who you think you should be in order to be who you are. Be imperfect and have compassion for yourself. Connection is the result of authenticity. Brene Brown

We can all make a list of traits for the person we think we should be and start feeling wrong about how far away we might be from that person – or we can choose to embrace who we are today and stop waiting for our best versions to come to life before we start living a wholehearted and meaningful life. Which one will you choose?

I truly hope this list inspires you to let go of any limiting beliefs holding you back and helps you simplify your life & thoughts more meaningfully.